Motherhood; warm hugs, quiet moments, storybook reading, peacefully sleeping babies. Picture a perfectly manicured woman, not a hair out of place. Her clothes are crisply ironed and her house sparkles as she gracefully feeds a well behaved, quiet baby. She is slim, healthy, organised, calm, relaxed, caring, patient, kind, a good friend, a good lover, the perfect mother.
The perfect text book mother.
I, however am not. I feel frumpy, my hair is frizzed, my skin needs help and my nails are chipped. There are apples stewing on the stove and peelings on the floor, there is cheese squished into the carpet and a baby screaming "more!". There are 5 loads of washing waiting to be done, my eyelids want to close. I walk past a mirror and wonder "Who is that?!" Who is this tired looking, frustrated feeling woman?
Don't get me wrong; I love motherhood. I love that I am privileged enough to be able to stay home and experience my daughters vital years of growth and development. I love caring for and nurturing her, I love joining her on play and exploration. I love being a mother. But sometimes I feel as though I am lost in all of this...lost under 5 loads of washing, lost under 5kgs of apples. I am just a machine.
One of my lovely Twitter friends suggested I read this book. I read the description and put it on my credit card straight away. Perhaps it will give me some insight and help me reflect. Maybe it will help me understand how to be more than 'just a mother', help me be more satisfied. Maybe it will do my washing?
Have you ever been through this brief restlessness that seems to plague most mothers at some time or another? How did you break through the pile of washing and begin to see some light? As always, please share!
...Plenty of love...
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